Imagine if Harrison Ford was actually president. No other country would fuck with the USA. We’d have negotiations and he’d do his signature stare and BAM! Negotiations over. (Note: I believe that H. Ford actually invented the stare.)
His presidency would be just like the movie Air Force One. He’d fight terrorists. Actually, terrorists would kill themselves at the prospect of a Harrison Ford President.
I was looking at the nutrientional facts on a popcorn bag today. Apparently, the unpopped popcorn is absolutely horrible for you. However, when you put it in the microwave and pop it. It becomes semi-healthy.
This led me to a revelation. The microwave, makes things healthier.
Got a Kentucky Bourbon Burger from Carl Jr’s and microwaved it. Half the calories!!!
My history teacher informed me that no names at Ellis Island were changed when people immigrated to America. Which leads me to believe that people changed their names to sound American, or because their last names were ridiculous and eastern Eurpeon-y.
I just imagine a converstation like, “You know, when you arrive in America, you should change your last name?”
"Why, it is a great and proud name!"
"Eh, in America, they uh, how you say, they don’t think your name is very appropriate."
"That is an outrage! I have the same last name as our king!"
"Yes, but Katfuker has a different meaning there."