Kevin Federline sure knows when to capatilize. That’s his best skill in life, it’s served him well.
Best Idea Ever.
I will invent a personal teleportation device and make millions/billions/trillions of dollars.
listening to "Shake It Out - Manchester Orchestra" →
Harrison Ford, for President.
Imagine if Harrison Ford was actually president. No other country would fuck with the USA. We’d have negotiations and he’d do his signature stare and BAM! Negotiations over. (Note: I believe that H. Ford actually invented the stare.) His presidency would be just like the movie Air Force One. He’d fight terrorists. Actually, terrorists would kill themselves at the prospect of a...
I was looking at the nutrientional facts on a popcorn bag today. Apparently, the unpopped popcorn is absolutely horrible for you. However, when you put it in the microwave and pop it. It becomes semi-healthy. This led me to a revelation. The microwave, makes things healthier. Got a Kentucky Bourbon Burger from Carl Jr’s and microwaved it. Half the calories!!!
Survival of the fittest.
Have you ever seen someone, and for some reason, you just get the feeling you should punch them in the face? I Know I do. And I think I know why. It’s darwinism in action. As animals, we must adhere to the survival of the fittest. To create a more perfect society, we must act on that gut feeling. And punch that dude in the face.
Joe suggests DP.
Tyrus: I hear that Tiffany is suppose to be in town this weekend.
Joe W.: DP?
Tyrus: Oh god.
Joe W.: Just throwing that out there.
By the power of Thor.
I have decided to convert to the Norse Gods. Sorry, Xenu. Maybe another day?
He insists that he will update his blog everyday. But he has yet to do in some time. I am calling him out.
My history teacher informed me that no names at Ellis Island were changed when people immigrated to America. Which leads me to believe that people changed their names to sound American, or because their last names were ridiculous and eastern Eurpeon-y. I just imagine a converstation like, “You know, when you arrive in America, you should change your last name?” “Why, it is a...